3 STEPS TO BUILDING HAPPINESS



How to minimize the damage we do by repressing our emotions

and learn to process positive and negative emotions.


By Josephine Coiscou


Everyone has their off days or weeks. We’re human! So naturally, we react to situations that arise. But there are moments when these off times last longer than they should. Apparently this has to do with our subconscious and the way we’re programmed as humans. One part of our mind (the comfort zone of our brain) stores all of our emotional and physical patterns and behaviors, so whenever we do something that's out of the norm it causes us to feel uneasy.


The good news is there are ways we can overcome this.


Personally, I find that when I’m going through a difficult time emotionally and don't want to face it head-on, I push it away and avoid it for as long as possible. This avoidance can come back to us in the worst ways and affect our health or future opportunities until eventually we crash and burn.

The best thing to do, in my experience, is to confront your demons so they no longer have control over you or your life. Even if you have none, being mindful of what’s bothering you can make a huge impact on your life. Here are 3 ways to begin the journey to building happiness:


1. MEDITATION FOR OVERALL HAPPINESS

Through meditation, we achieve clarity and peace. Even in the heat of the moment, the best thing to do is stop and take a few deep breaths. This brings us back to a calmer and clearer state of mind. It also helps to create time in the day for an activity that brings you peace such as writing or painting, yoga, prayer, or meditation.


Many psychologists and doctors also conduct studies showing how meditation can help with many medical conditions caused by our reactions. It can be very easy to give in to our reactions and they can have a lasting effect on our health, and cause stress, anxiety, heart palpitations, etc. These can lead to more serious medical issues.


According to a study done by the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, meditation can help reduce body pain, depression and anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis, insomnia and much more.


There are many guided meditation apps to help you do this. See our favorites here. Often times we react in the heat of the moment, so it takes us out of our reality. Being able to have some sort of calming meditation helps bring you back to the now instead of lashing out in a moment.


2. CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

When it comes to our reactions it can be pretty hard to go against the first instinct of how we feel about a person or situation. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio of the University of Southern California says that it is important to pay attention to “somatic makers” as they come from the part of the brain that can tell us right or wrong. This sends a signal to your gut letting you know when something either feels right or it doesn’t.


This is why we have what’s called intuition. Our gut feeling comes from the somatic makers. This teaches us to know what feels right or wrong in different situations. The more we learn through this method, the more we pay attention and learn to trust our intuition.


The one thing that many don’t realize in a state of chaos, is that mentally and emotionally we’re all very sensitive and our mind registers how we feel in those moments and those specific triggers so when the situation repeats itself we have the same reaction.


According to Highly Sensitive Refuge, when our brains recognize these emotions from a traumatic upsetting experience, and these feelings return this called “flooding”. This means we’re mentally and emotionally overwhelmed.


3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY.

Remove yourself from any negativity. If it happens that you are the one being removed unwillingly, don’t fight it. Sometimes we block ourselves from blessings not realizing we're holding ourselves back when we comfortable with certain situations.


During and after the fact, we find ourselves dealing with leftover emotions and reactions. In these cases, the best way to deal with how you react is to remember how bad it made you feel and that will overwhelm you with an abundance of clarity when you realize how blinded you were.

There are several different ways of achieving overall peace and happiness beginning with internally. There are techniques such as writing, praying, yoga, painting, and meditation.


Josephine Coiscou is a blogger writing about happiness and mental health while enjoying the sunlight, living life and finding beauty in nature. Follow her at @theultimatekween and @SimplytheEssense and follow her personal blog Sophisticatedly Vulgar